Wooft. I'm just back from doing an hour's cardio at the gym, it felt great. It feels great to be at the gym because I want to go, because it makes me feel good...and not in order to live up to some ridiculous expectation.

I have to be out of the house in an hour and a half, and I'm still sitting here after my shower with wet hair, no make up and unfed. It's as if I can only manage so much effectiveness in one day and the rest demands to be squalored doing not a lot at all. Anyway, tonight I am going to a gig in Motherwell with Paul, we always go and see this band, and they always do the same set. But we go.

Date night went fine as well, we went for a lovely dinner in a trendy little place called November, I got The Day Watch from the bookstore and we wandered up to the cinema. We were supposed to be going to see the Superhero Movie but it had finished showing by the time we got there so we went to see Hancock instead, but I wasn't disappointed because it was very good :)

I wish I could just settle back into this relationship, instead of constantly picking and overanalyzing. I wouldn't even mind that if I cared while I was doing it. Like for the last while Paul has seemed to be saying anything except I love you, which of course I took to mean that he doesn't love me anymore or something. It should have broken my heart, and spurred me into action. Instead it just made me a little annoyed and pushed me further into this numbness that is growing around us.

So I brought it to his attention and he didn't know what I was talking about.

And we all lived happily ever after?

Gem x <3

Drift-Away